Sign up to Paybox to get easy money fast with my referral link:
Just register an account, post your own referral link on your blog, and you're good to go!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

This morning

This morning I woke up with a nice big bowl of something I've always eaten my whole life.

I bet you're thinking "shit yeah, cocoa puffs are the tits" right?  Well maybe I'm getting older or they're getting cheaper because this stuff tastes like cardboard now.  Now they're advertising CHOCOLATE EXPLOSION PUFFS which have ADDED CHOCOLATE TASTE or some shit.  That's bullshit, they're exactly the same.

Man, fuck, in 5 years I'm gonna be eating nothing but Special K like some old sod.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Teenagers are stupid. But that's common knowledge.

Man.  I thought teenagers were pretty dumb even when I was one.  But they manage to get dumber with each passing fad.  How about preteen magnet Justin Bieber, eh? You might have heard from him by some awful hits such as "Baby" and "Somebody to Love" and oh god I can't go on naming these songs it physically hurts just thinking about them.

Holy shit son, you DO look like a beaver.

Man, you guys hear about him getting caught kissing some chick in the backseat of a Honda?  Man, the girls went fucking NUTS over this kid. Even as a kid I knew I wouldn't ever have a chance with a celebrity, but I mean MAN.  Youtube videos all over the place with 12 year old chicks wanting to catfight that chick.  What the hell man.  What the hell.

Hey, you hear that rumor about how this kid says he's some tough shit like "The Kurt Cobain of this generation?" "YET NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME?" I'm sure you're shooting up heroin nightly and dream of suicide.  No, go ahead, you'll be remembered forever in history by blowing your brains out.  Maaaaan Im aggravated just thinking about this.  I'm out.


Everyone's so up about optimism these days on this Blogger website.  Optimism sucks, and I'm going against the norm with a pessimistic blog.  I'm avant-garde.

On a semi-related note, back when I was in high school, mainstream ideals were something I could never get behind.  Basically, if anything was popular, I hated it. One step ahead of the world.  Guess what?  Everyone's a hipster.  Being a hipster is cool now.  Hipsters are down with the counterculture and hate the mainstream.  So its cool to to not be in with the cool.  Anti-conformity is just conformity.  Funny how this world works?

Where might I be going with this, you ask?  The answer is very simple.

I was a hipster before it was cool.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

MW2 sucks.

Here's something I posted on Livejournal a few months ago, my theory on Modern Warfare 2.

On Steam they're having a Free Weekend for Modern Warfare 2. Which means you can download and play the game on multiplayer until monday, to spread awareness (Like it needs it) for the upcoming price drop.

Well I've been playing it. A lot of it. Nonstop. Its addictive. Its fun. But despite both of those, its still lacks something: Its not actually GOOD.

The PC version is just a port of a console FPS. Having in my recent years started playing games on PCs over consoles, its pretty much common knowledge that PC FPSs are just BETTER, but that's because when you try to aim with analog sticks, its like aiming on a grid, which is why games help you with autoassist. Fags. This game is probably perfect for console players because gamers today are completely fucking retarded. But after putting in way too many hours this weekend I've really just deduced that its just like any Battlefield game...Just simplified, watered down, and more obnoxious.

The imbalance is ridiculous. They still never fixed the camping problems from MW1. Why can I oneshot people with the SPAZ from 12 yards away? And the killstreak concept is fucking stupid: If the player in the lead has a 7-point streak, its obvious he's beating the crap out of everyone. So why in the hell does he need A FUCKING HELICOPTER TO GIVE HIM 5 MORE POINTS? Also it might be nice to mention that THERE'S FUCKING EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE and you spend the latter half of the match hiding indoors trying to survive a fucking army bombing run.

So I bet you're thinking "Yahtzee, you handsome devil, if you hate it so much why did you call it fun? And addictive?" Well the answer s simple: The guys over at Infinity Ward are fucking DEVIOUS little bastards who understand the key to getting people to playing. Its as follows:

When you start playing online, you're stuck with bare equipment: 1 or two of every type of gun, two of each perk, yadda yadda yadda, and about 80% of all the equipment has to be unlocked by gaining XP, which is achieved by doing simple challenges or ingame objectives, such as killing a guy scores you 100 XP, an assist 20, shooting down a helicopter 300, and so forth. But The secret is that each challenge feel INCREDIBLY rewarding (As shown onscreen...Ever got a level in WoW to see that glowing spiral of gold and FWOOOSH sound come in? Its feels like that, except you get it like 1 every round), not to mention each challenge is incredibly easy. There's pretty much hundreds of things to do, so its definitely hard to get bored.

Then there comes the actual GAMEPLAY. In FPS games, overcoming an enemy players feels like an accomplishment. You and another guy get into a showdown, and you gun his ass down first, you feel like a champ for at least a second. So they implemented that into Modern Warfare 2 making fights incredibly short. Sure you have a 20 bullet magazine in your assault rifle, but its only going to take 3 bullets to actually kill your enemy. And that's why so many people like it: Its so incredibly easy to kill an enemy, that your sense of accomplishment for beating one comes easy, and comes often. The Casual Game effect.

So there's a few game modes. Team deathmatch, Search And Destroy (One life each, one team plants a bomb the other tries to stop them), some CtF, KotH, and Territories. But one caught my attention: Hardcore Team Deathmatch. To make the game seem...Well, more hardcore, they made this mode. You no longer have a minimap, crosshairs, an ammo HUD, or pretty much half you HUD altogether. And bullets do more damage. And this was cool at first before I realized they just took a game and stripped parts from it. My best description is that Modern Warfare 2 is like kids playing with little toy mallets that squeak when they bop each other. And hardcore team deathmatch is kids playing with little toy mallets IN A FIGHT TO THE DEATH. The concept is dumb. The execution is worse. And that could be a good explanation for MW2.

In short, MW2 is a bad game. Fuck that, its AWFUL. But that's still not going to stop me from playing it until I can get higher than level 30. But still I feel unclean playing this. What happened to games where they were fun because they were GOOD? Not because they're fun through exploitation of human behavior into the false reality that its fun? Its...Disturbing.

Everything You Like Sucks

Welcome to my new blog.  This is going to be about how everything sucks.  Mostly what you like.  That new hit movie?  Sucks.  That awesome retro video game?  Sucks.  Sweet new fashion taking over America?  Yup, you know it.